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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800962">Darkness</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollyl13/pseuds/mollyl13'>mollyl13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Killing Eve (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conversations, F/F, Honesty, Love, Post-Season/Series 03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:47:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,687</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollyl13/pseuds/mollyl13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eve wants to know why Villanelle no longer wants to kill. A take on what that conversation might look like. Post season 3 finale.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>113</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This presumes that they turned around on the bridge and decided to be together. This is just an idea I had about a conversation I think they would have to have at some point. Please comment and like if you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading. </p>
<p>P.S. Lyubitel'skoye= Amateur in Russian</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve had been struggling to not think about what was going in Villanelle's mind. Not about them together, not about the twelve, but what happened that caused her to want to stop being an assassin? It wasn't even just that, she could see, hell she could feel a change within her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was still Villanelle, smug and sarcastic, powerful and overwhelming, but it seemed like part of her had broken open and she could not hide her emotions like she did before. Not that she was complaining, but she knew it must have been something bad to cause such a shift in Villanelle. She could feel it in the ballroom, when she brushed past her question and kept talking but she could see how hard she was keep back tears. Keeping back from spilling over and saying what really happened. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Normally Eve was the one to brush past things, to deny the reality. Villanelle was blunt and unwavering in just stating what she wants or how she feels. This was... something else. Eve knew that simply asking her again would not work. She didn't want to force her to talk about what had happened, she wanted her to feel comfortable to let her guard down and just speak freely... like she did normally. Mostly, Eve wants to know, so she can help her. She doesn't know how she would help but she wants to try anyway. She needs to.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sat a few feet apart on the couch from each other. Villanelle had ordered Chinese takeout for the both of them, except it looked like she ordered enough food to feed about 30 people. Overindulgent as ever. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As they stuffed their faces, Villanelle started talking, regardless of eating at the same time. She started to say something and it just came out as gibberish. Eve laughed and said "You're going to choke if you don't slow down."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Still with a mouth full of food, "So, you know CPR right?" Villanelle muttered in between mouthfuls. Eve smiled and said "You’d better hope I do." </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle finally stopped shoving food in her mouth non stop and took a sip of water. She glanced over at the numerous food containers in front of her. "I guess I kind of overdid it huh? I wasn't sure what you liked so I just got everything."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve nodded, knowing full well that was not the reason she ordered this much food. " So what was your favorite?" Villanelle asks, looking at Eve now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve puts down her plate on the coffee table and grabs her glass of water. "Probably the pork dumplings. Not as good as mine though."</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle mocked surprise, "Eve, you're a cook too?" </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Not so much. But I can make most of the things I saw my mother make growing up. Ergo, pork dumplings." Eve said. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Huh." Villanelle takes a moment to think about a little Eve Polastri, helping her mother cook. She wondered what it was like. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"You know after Rome, after you shot me," Eve says this matter-of-factly and does not notice Villanelle's expression fade into guilt. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle puts a hand on Eve's leg and looks at her intently. "I am sorry for that Eve." Villanelle says softly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve nods and grabs ahold of Villanelle's hand,"I don't really want to talk about... what I was going to say was, after that, I started working at a kitchen for an asian restaurant-"</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle laughed, only for a moment. Eve glared at her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Sorry, I just cannot picture Eve Polastri working at a restaurant-" "What is wrong with working at a restaurant?" Eve cut her off. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Nothing at all. It's just too boring for you." </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"That's why I did it. I wanted to cling to whatever sense of normalcy I had left. I wanted to forget what happened and move on. Just keep my head down and survive." </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now Villanelle understood. And she was partially responsible for it. "That's...that is almost how I feel now." Villanelle said as the thought came in her head. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There it was again. That thing. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"So you said Dasha stabbed Niko through the neck and tried to frame me for it?" Villanelle paused and muttered to herself “Lyubitel'skoye…”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve almost laughed at the sudden change of topic if it wasn't so macabre.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Yeah, I watched him nearly bleed to death, he was nearly decapitated." Eve said trying to not conjurer up those images again. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Did you know it was not me because of the way he was killed or because you know I wouldn't have-"</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">"Both." Eve said confidently, looking right at Villanelle. Villanelle simply nodded, not knowing how to respond. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess the twelve really wanted to drive us apart.” Eve said solemnly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The twelve are shit.” Villanelle paused. “But powerful. Powerful shit.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve laughed for a moment. “Did they do something to you to? Is that why you want to stop working for them?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, they pretended to promote me. I’m tired of the bureaucratic bullshit. I’m done killing for them or anyone else. I don’t want to do it anymore.” Villanelle said, now looking down and pulling at a loose thread of her jacket. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve tried and failed to understand. “So they gave you a shitty promotion and that made you decide to stop being an assassin?” Eve asked. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” Villanelle said dismissively. The same way she always answers Eve when she wants to end the current part of their conversation. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve nods and looks away from Villanelle, giving up on prying for information. Villanelle watches the disappointment set in on Eve’s face when she doesn’t get the explanation she is looking for. She watches Eve for another moment and then she makes a decision. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I went to see my family, Eve. In Russia.” Villanelle said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve was a bit shocked. “I thought they were dead.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So did I. I was told they all died in a car crash. Konstantin found them. Offered me the information if I killed someone for him first, of course.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It bothered Eve to think about the way everyone just used Villanelle to kill for them. Even she was guilty of this in the past with Aaron Peel. Konstantin couldn’t even just tell her where her family was without something in return. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I went to this small village and found them there.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you remember any of them?” Eve asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mostly my brother Pyotr.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What was he like?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Weak. But nice enough I suppose.” Villanelle shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Who else was there?” Eve said with a little excitement. She had no idea Villanelle had a family. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A lot of annoying extended family that think the earth is flat for some reason.” Villanelle says shaking her head thinking about it. “I have a little brother, Bor’ka, obsessed with Elton John.” Villanelle smiles for a brief moment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about your parents?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle almost stops breathing but quickly composes herself. “My mother was there. Father is… gone.” She said plainly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve looked at Villanelle, seeing how hard she was trying to keep back any emotions from bubbling over. But her eyes were tearing up anyway.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What was your mother like?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-“ Villanelle stopped herself. Tears were already spilling from her eyes and she knew if she started talking about this, she would crumble. She did not want Eve to see that. She didn’t want anyone to see that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve grabbed her hand. “It’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it-”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle stood up from the couch, pulling away from Eve. She turned away from Eve, trying to formulate the words to explain what happened.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She was fine. Living a normal life. She was happy to see me.” Villanelle turned back around to Eve, fully in tears now. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But it wasn’t true. It is just the picture she paints of herself to the world. The wonderful matriarch.” Villanelle now looks into Eve’s eyes for reassurance. That she’s not going to leave. Eve looks back at her with sincerity. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Villanelle sits back down on the couch across from Eve, as she was before. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She told me I never cried as baby. That I was bad from the start. That she left me at the orphanage because I ruined her life. That my father left because of me… because he was scared of me.” Villanelle said with a strained voice.“Then she told me to leave. That I was not part of her family.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She would not admit who she was, Eve. That if I had darkness in me, that it came from her. That she was not a mother to anyone.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve put her hand on Villanelle’s arm, trying to soothe her. Eve didn’t know what to say. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She would not admit that she was like me. So, I killed her. Got Bor’ka out of the house and then set it on fire.” Villanelle said matter of factly with tears running down her cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve swallowed and closed her eyes, trying to process what she just heard. Villanelle had killed her mother. Eve was torn in so many ways of how she felt about it. But really, all she could focus on right now was the woman crying in front of her. So Eve leaned forward and put her arms around Villanelle, hugging her. She felt Villanelle squeeze her back tightly. They hugged each other in silence for a few moments before breaking apart. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve could feel the wetness from Villanelle’s tears on her shoulder. She was still crying.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“After I did it, I couldn’t stop shaking. I haven’t really stopped since, when I think about it. It’s like she seeped inside and killed a part of me.” Villanelle says clutching at her chest. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When I think about killing now… If I kill, I am everything she said I was.” She looks down and then back up at Eve again.“I…I don’t want to be a monster. I want to change.” Villanelle said confidently. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eve looked back at her. As much as it was to process, she understood now. She felt closer to Villanelle than she ever had before. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I believe you.” Eve said, leaning in and kissing Villanelle’s soft lips. </span>
</p>
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